An all-white basketball league…seriously?
This is absolutely hysterical and we aren’t making this up. All the quotes are real. This dude is serious (we think).
The All-American Basketball Alliance announced in a news release that they are planning on starting their inaugural season in June. So what’s so ridiculous about this league? Well….you have to be 100% white to play in it.
“Only players that are natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league,” the statement from the Atlanta-based league said.
Photo Caption: All this excitement is back! White basketball….it’s FAN-tastic!
Don “Moose” Lewis, the commissioner of the AABA, shockingly doesn’t think there is anything discriminatory about it.
“There’s nothing hatred about what we’re doing,” he said. “I don’t hate anyone of color. But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here’s a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like.”
In other words, “We are sick and tired of all that fast running and high jumping and dunking and shot blocking and above-the-rim play that makes people love watching basketball. Let’s get back to when men were men and they shot free throws underhand with two hands from between their legs!”
“Would you want to go to the game and worry about a player flipping you off or attacking you in the stands or grabbing their crotch?” Lewis said, apparently with a straight face. “That’s the culture today, and in a free country we should have the right to move ourselves in a better direction.”
This should be a corporate sponsor’s dream. We are sure that companies like Nike, Adidas and McDonald’s and (insert any other huge company that has assloads of corporate dough to throw around) can’t wait to jump on this. And this is sure to take off. Especially when players like Steve Nash can finally escape the hassles of the big bucks of the NBA so they can play the game the way it was supposed to be played.
So for all of you that hate watching hacks like Kevin Durant, LeBron James and D-Wade and prefer the pure fun of the Princeton offense, your prayers have been answered. Finally, Princeton basketball at the pro level, at a pace slow enough that you can follow along even if it’s right after your lobotomy.
UPDATE: We are starting to sense that this could just be a fast one. If so, this guy has fooled a LOT of people. We don’t know for sure what the deal is, but we are thinking it makes sense that this guy is pulling a publicity stunt. Would make sense, but publicity for what? Don Lewis?
