Nomar retires as a member of the Red Sox
Nomar Garciaparra has signed a one-day contract with the Boston Red Sox and will officially retire. He submitted his retirement papers on Wednesday and now he is free to live a life of religious fulfillment, which includes a spot at the desk of ESPN’s “Baseball Tonight.” It’s not known if his main job on the show will be to stare darkly at Steve Phillips (is he still on the show?), wait for him to finish his underwhelming analysis of the Royals middle relief situation and then say, “Steve, are you serious? You don’t really think that, do you?”
Garciaparra finishes his MLB career with a .313/.361/.521 career batting line, 229 HR’s and 936 RBI in 5,596 at-bats.
To help those of you in Boston understand this, we offer the following local commentary:
Oh my gawd! Nomahh!! He was like tha best fawkin’ shot stop evahh! Who can fahget numbah five!! Yull be in ah hots fah evahhh! I remembah the fust time I saw him play at Fenway Pack! I didn’t have tickets but I was at the fawkin’ bah drinkin’ some beeyahs. He went yad ovah the Green Monstah and we wuh like ohhhh gawd! This guy is a fawkin’ playahhh!
well done on the Bahstan accent. of course your 6 years of undergrad there helped. if you'd gotten out on time you would have used the standard packed the cahr in the yad.
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What I want to know is why I need to care? I mean, not to say that what youve obtained to say isnt important, but I mean, its so generic. Everyones talking about this man. Give us some thing a lot more, anything that we can get behind so we can feel as passionately about this as you do.
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