Ron Washington rocked the party…last year

Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington failed a drug test last year, according to Sports Illustrated’s Jon Heyman. Why on Earth was a manager using steroids? The easy answer is that he wasn’t; he was rolling up dollar bills and snacking a little cocaine.

“I did make a mistake and I regret that I did it,” Washington told SI.com by phone from Surprise, AZ, on Tuesday (Surprise, AZ? As in “surprise! We found out you did coke!”?). “I am really embarrassed and I am really sorry.”

We don’t think this was a single mistake. Based on interviews we conducted with people we went to college with, cocaine only lasts 2-3 days in the system. So, the odds of him getting drug tested only a couple days after he made a mistake at a party and blew a line off a hooker’s back side aren’t good.

“Any attempt to try to explain it is going to sound like excuses,” he said. “There is no right way to explain something wrong, and I did wrong. Was it tension? Maybe. Anxiety?”

In any case, we think that it’s best for Washington to retain his managerial role. We just don’t know if he’d be completely focused as a first- or third-base coach. Those big white lines are awfully tempting.