Earlier this week, the 76ers’ new ownership group Apollo Global Management, headed by Joshua Harris, David Blitzer, Will Smith, and Carlton, decided enough was enough with their roided-up rabbit of a mascot.  Its a decision that has already caused massive internet waves throughout the 76ers communities.

Massive internet waves?  Yes, and the biggest question is what should the next 76ers mascot be?  Currently, the task of coming up with Hip Hop’s successor is on the shoulders of Jim Henson’s Creature Shop (the Muppets) and Raymond Entertainment Group (the Phillie Phanatic).

PHOTO CAPTION:  Hip Hop was known for his blue flip flops

But what about the fans?  The dedicated souls who can be seen at the Wells Fargo Center sitting next to all those empty seats.  Can’t they have a say?  They were the ones who had to put up with watching a bunny for nearly ten years.  And mind you, this bunny couldn’t jump unless he had assistance from a trampoline.  So, technically it was handicapped bunny.

I say, yes, the fans should have a say, so I reached out to all fifty fans and gathered some ideas for the 76ers, just in case the brilliant minds of the two hired firms couldn’t come up with anything.

Brickman:  A big foam brick who comes out during the breaks to propel himself (via cannon or trampoline) at the basketball hoop, only to either slam against the backboard and/or rim.

Turnover:  A big foam apple turnover dessert who comes out during breaks to show off his impressive dribbling/passing skills, only to either dribble off his foot or lose control of the basketball and then throw it into the crowd as a souvenir.

Side note:  Turnover will always be wearing an Andre Iguodala jersey.  Needless to say, so will Brickman.  But only because Andre’s the captain and not for any identifying reasons.

Seats:  A big, empty folding chair who comes out during breaks to give away free tickets.  One lucky fan will be able to sit on Seats during the 4th quarter if he is the only one sitting in the section that is called.

Rimmie:  A big, iron rim who comes out during breaks attempting to have a big inflatable ball, which falls from the rafters, land inside his rim head for two points.  Many inflatable balls fall, but every single one hits the side of the rim to the sound of a “clang” over the arena’s speakers.

Side note:  Brickman and Rimmie sometimes come on the court together and continuously run into each other.  This doesn’t symbolize anything, its just good fun and the kids love it.

Big Shot:  Bring back the mascot who entertained the courts before Hip Hop; however, this time Big Shot brings his wife Missy Big Shot.  Guess which one of them more accurately depicts the past few Sixers seasons?

Any other ideas?

This past December, Pittsburgh Steeler Ben Roethlisberger asked 26-year-old Ashley Harlan for her hand in marriage.  Since that day, the NFL world hasn’t gotten a chance to know Ashley, their relationship, and why her father has worn a Haloti Ngata jersey for 104 days straight.  These questions are starting to be answered.

In an interview with the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Roethlisberger confirmed that he’s engaged to 26-year-old Ashley Harlan, whom he met during training camp in 2005.  Furthermore, a wedding date of July 23rd, one week before the Steelers are scheduled for training camp, has been set.

Ashely, who is a physician’s assistant in the cardiac surgery department of a Pittsburgh hospital, still lives at home with her parents.  This decision has everything to do with her family’s religious beliefs and has nothing to do with Big Ben’s previous allegations.

“We were kind of on and off for five years, almost six years now (you know, in between rapes),”  Roethlisberger explained to the Post-Gazette.  “So I’ve known her for a while. It’s not like a random new person.  We dated awhile ago; we have been friends ever since.”

Hey, if Ben Roethlisberger is allowed to have a wife, why isn’t Michael Vick allowed to have a dog?

Mel Kiper Jr:  Nobody in the world has more of a perfectly-parted widow’s peak than Mel Kiper Jr.  On varying days, the world’s most famous mock-drafter has somewhat of a poof, resembling a male-version of The Jersey Shore’s Snooki.  The comparisons with the little Italian ball of roundness doesn’t end there.  Both have very strong chins.  Snooki’s was able to take a punch from a male bar patron, while Kiper’s complements his huge jaw bone and tiny little mouth.  Mel is well known for his Big Board on ESPN, which lists NCAA college football players in an incorrect order of where he thinks they’ll be drafted.  OTR really wanted to put ESPN‘s John Clayton in this spot, but we kept him off the list because he actually knows what he’s talking about.

PHOTO CAPTION:  It’s really amazing what comes out of that tiny little mouth

Alexander Ovechkin:  If only ugly athletes could look more like their bobbleheads, and this is definitely the case for Alexander Ovechkin.  They make him appear like a bright, blue-eyed movie star with beautiful teeth.  In all reality, if the witch doctor from Beetlejuice shrunk Richard Kiel’s head, then replaced his body with a ceramic replica of a hockey player, this would be the most accurate depiction for an Ovie bobblehead.  Moreover, the poor kid can’t even grow a full beard.  When he tries, there’s certain parts of his face that forget to grow hair.  And playoff beards are very important in the NHL.  Maybe this is why Ovechkin tends to exit early in the Stanley Cup Playoffs?  Well, maybe not.  Sydney Crosby was able to win the Stanley Cup and he can’t grow a beard.  It sucks being second-best and ugly.

Jay Cutler:  He’s the only quarterback in the NFL that wears two chin straps, so both of his chins are protected.  Jay Cutler hasn’t combed his hair since appearing on the cover of Michigan Avenue in September 2009.  The magazine displayed a dapper-looking fellow with dark eyeliner that clearly effected his vision during the season.  He ended up throwing 26 interceptions in 2009.  Since then, he realized he couldn’t wear anymore make-up, revealing his fat, unairbrushed face to the NFL world.  He also has never smiled since the photo shoot.  He is depressed.  He loved that eyeliner.

PHOTO CAPTION:  Is that Jay Cutler or Brandon from 90210?

Blake Griffin: Is he black?  Is he white?  Is he part Irish?  What is he?  He’s ugly, people.  Just ugly.  Whatever his background is, it seems to be the perfect mix.  Griffin is quickly becoming one of the best players in the NBA and has one of the best highlight reels ever assembled during his short career.  What’s confusing about his ugliness is that he’s not ugly, because he is so good.  He is Blake Griffin.  Blake Griffin is awesome, so his face is awesome.  He’s the new Scottie Pippen.  But what if Blake played more like his brother, Taylor?  Then he would be just another ugly face in the NBA.  Maybe I should have Taylor Griffin in this spot?  Too bad he’s playing in Belgium or I would.  The moral of this story is – if you are ugly, try to be awesome at something.  If you succeed, your ugliness might just go away.

Joakim Noah:  Noah started his professional career under the name Justin Guarini, finishing runner-up on American Idol in 2002.  Then his beautiful smile, tightly-curled locks, and big brown eyes turned into a mangy, weed-smoked mess.  However, this transformation from a heart throb to a corn on the cob turned him into a winner.  Noah won back-to-back NCAA championships while attending the University of Florida and now he is a part of a Chicago Bulls team that sits atop the Eastern Conference.  If Sweden was water, France was oil, and Cameroon was a nice glass bowl, Joakim Noah is what you would get when all is mixed together.  Then he’d smoke the bowl.

PHOTO CAPTION:  Noah has single-handedly launched the careers of Kelly Clarkson and Derrick Rose

Al Davis:  Ever since Al Davis’ face was used as a face double in Braveheart for Ian Bannen who played the elder Robert the Bruce, leprosy has been accepted throughout the NFL.  We all knew leprosy’s most common side effects like skin lesions and facial tissue loss, but Davis’ battle has also taught us leprosy’s most dangerous side effects; signing over-the-hill free agents for monster contracts, believing in over-weight quarterbacks who are addicted to purple drank, and drafting players that the league has never heard of.  No matter how bad it gets in Oakland, football fans should continue to support the Raiders and Al Davis’ acting career as he continues to use his face as a face double in upcoming movies such as Wrath of the Zombies, Spring Break Zombie Cruise, and The Living Dead Chronicles.

Pau Gasol: Born in Barcelona, Spain, this 7-footer benefits from having 10% alpaca and 5% giraffe in his family blood. He grew up a vegetarian feasting on pasture grass and only the most concentrated, nutrition-packed acacia shrubs which are located at the very tops of the tree. His long legs and neck could not be matched by the other vegetarian kids, leaving the delicacy all to himself. The two-time NBA champion of the Los Angeles Lakers also finds himself playing and traveling around the world for the Spanish National team. Animal Control closely monitors his Olympic travels to make sure his alpaca genes are not spread to countries where the mammal offspring could not survive. Unfortunately, Pau can’t attract any women other than ones who have a fetish for men who like to spit. And even then it’s rare he gets physical with them, because he is scared of contact.

PHOTO CAPTION:  This is exactly what animal control is trying to stop, Pau mating with other alpacas

Philadelphia Phillies former prospect Dominic Brown fractured his hamate bone in his right hand on Saturday and is likely to miss three to six weeks.  Don’t let the ‘former’ reference fool you.  He is still on the Phillies, but his horrible play has downgraded his ‘prospect’ status to being Ben Francisco’s prospective backup.

PHOTO CAPTION:  Dom Brown sits in the dugout and carefully tries to pick dirt out of his cleats

Brown injured his hand after swinging the bat.  Initial reports are indicating that the ball hit the bat when he swung it, triggering the injury.  Brown’s hand was not used to the feeling of an actual baseball hitting the wooden instrument.  What an unfortunate circumstance.

In 2010, Brown had 62 at bats, striking out 24 times and had a batting average of .210.   The Phillies were hoping he would be the much-needed, right-handed bat in their lineup once Jason Werth left.  It doesn’t seem this is going to be the case.  But in all honesty, it doesn’t really matter.  The Phillies pitching staff is stacked and Ben Francisco is a solid player.

As Super Bowl Sunday gets closer, the possibility of Pittsburgh Steelers center Maurkic Pouncey playing gets slimmer.  The rookie Pro Bowler severely sprained and broke his snapping ankle during the first quarter in the AFC Championship game.  Currently, he is listed as ’highly doubtful.’

In steps Doug Legursky, who replaced Pouncey for the remainder of the game.  His play was very shaky, causing two fumbles (one of them for a safety) on botched snaps that weren’t even close to quarterback Ben Roethlisberger’s hands.  And now Steelers fans are worrying if the back-up center can cut it on the big stage.  OTR believes he will.

The Monday after the game, teammate and veteran leader Hines Ward noticed something very strange with Legursky.  While eating dinner at The Melting Pot on West Station Square Drive, it seemed about every one-out-of-six times Legursky used his spoon to eat, he would hit the side of his mouth, burning himself with the hot cheese.  Hines pretended he didn’t notice, in hopes of not embarrassing the 24-year old German.

The next day Hines was again hanging with Legursky.  This time they were attending an autograph session at the Omni William Penn Hotel.  Hines, keeping one eye on Legursky, noticed the second-year player would completely miss one-out-of-six handshakes and then sign the table next to the photo of himself.  What was happening?  First he couldn’t feed himself and now he’s inking up a table top?  Could this be connected to why he botches one-out-of-six snaps?

Indeed it was.  After the autograph session, Hines took Legursky to his yoga instructer where she had Legursky go through some stretching and balancing activities.  She noticed that Doug’s equilibrium was off and has been working with him ever since to correct the issue.

“Doug is a unique individual,”  Rainbow Sunshine the Yoga instructor told OTR with a huge smile.  “He just needs to focus.  His mind tends to drift off every once in awhile, throwing his equilibrium out of whack.  This is definitely why we see him snapping the football off his calf muscle every one-out-of-six times.  It’s nothing I can’t fix.  He’ll be ready to go come next Sunday.”

PHOTO CAPTION:  “Hut, hut, yoga!”

So, Steelers fans.  There’s nothing to worry about.  Legursky will not be snapping the football all over the place, killing drives or turning the ball over.  Look forward to the shotgun formation.  His snaps will be accurate and won’t go 10 yards over Big Ben’s head or smack running back Rashard Mendenhall in the face mask.  You can thank Hines Ward.  You can thank Yoga.  And you can especially thank Rainbow Sunshine.

Jay Cutler, who was the subject of heated criticism for ‘tapping out’ against the Green Bay Packers in the NFC Championship game, has decided to return the favor to Eagles wide receiver Desean Jackson.

“Grade two sprain?  Weak,” Cutler privately tweeted to OTR.

Cutler’s tweet was in response to the news that Jackson will not be playing in the Pro Bowl this coming Sunday at Aloha Stadium in Honolulu, Hawaii.  The Eagles receiver/punt returner re-injured his left knee that caused him to miss time against the Green Bay Packers during Wild Card weekend.

Cutler also suffered a grade II sprain to his MCL, but feels the Pro Bowl is more important than a playoff game.

“If I was there, I’d play.  Grade two ain’t nothing,” Cutler effectively provided OTR with a double-negative tweet.  “Players wait their whole lives to perform in the Pro Bowl.  To decline the opportunity is like a slap in the face to the rest of the league who aren’t there.”

These tweets that only OTR has, come as a surprise.  Cutler was ripped by NFL players Maurice Jones Drew and Asante Samuel, and also by former Pro Bowler Deion Sanders.  They questioned his heart and desire to win, despite the Bears quarterback noticeably limping as he sat on the bench.

OTR is anxious to hear if Jackson has any response to Cutler.

Pittsburgh Steelers center Maurkice Pouncey is not only dealing with a sprained ankle with ligament damage, but the rookie Pro Bowler is also suffering from a broken ankle.  Early reports show Pouncey as “highly doubtful,” “privately skeptical,” and “severely obese” for February sixth’s Super Bowl.

Pouncey suffered the injuries during the first quarter of the AFC Championship game against the New York Jets.  Jets coach Rex Ryan was working on his foot during the whole first half and wasn’t able to actually coach his team until the last 30 minutes.

The overwhelming possibility of Pouncey not playing leaves many Steelers fans worried that back-up center Doug Legursky could be the reason why the team loses to the Green Bay Packers.  Legursky seems to be an alright blocker, but tends to forget how to snap the ball which is a very important duty at the center position.

“[Legursky] sometimes thinks Ben’s [Roethlisberger's] ankles are his hands,” a Steelers player told OTR.  “He just gets confused.  Other times he forgets he’s the center and just shoves the ball through his legs thinking he might step on it.”

Good luck Pittsburgh!

The NBA has suspended Memphis Grizzlies guard O. J. Mayo for 10 games for violating the league and union’s anti-drug program.  The 10-game suspension comes without pay and will result in Mayo forfeiting $405,109 of his salary.

The drug of choice?  Dehydroepiandrosterone.  The only drug in the English language to contain every letter in the alphabet and the longest word known to man.

PHOTO CAPTION:  It’s been proven DHEA has zero side effects

Despite DHEA being a banned substance in the NBA, a randomized placebo-controlled trial found that the supplementation had no effect on lean body mass, strength, or testosterone levels.  Furthermore, DHEA has an under .500 success rate in performance, proving that the 22-24 Mayo-led Grizzlies are innocent of any charges.

Memphis’ next game is against the Philadelphia 76ers on Friday night.

Despite firing him almost thirteen days ago, the Philadelphia Eagles are targeting former Philadelphia Eagles defense coordinator Sean McDermott to be their next defense coordinator. Several internet reports hint that the Eagles will ask the Carolina Panthers’ permission to interview McDermott for the position he just vacated.

It’d be a double-lateral move for sure, but McDermott reportedly hasn’t been able to get comfortable in his office in two weeks in Carolina (some of the drawers in his desk stick a bit), and would welcome the chance to complete some unfinished business. We have no clue what the unfinished business is exactly, but we know it isn’t done.

“I’m not surprised,” said a source eavesdropping on the situation.  “They were looking for a scapegoat to cover for Andy Reid’s myriad of flaws, but they quickly found out that nobody wants to coach this defense. And they’ll need to interview McDermott again because they just hadn’t seen enough of what he could do.”

“One source told me that they think Sean could really make Colt Anderson into a fourth or fifth safety if he just gets a few years to work with him,” the source continued.

Whether it’s the prospect of having to coach a player like Ernie Sims or having to deal with the possibility of starting Dimitri Patterson at the cornerback position, word around the league is the Eagles coaching vacancy is about as attractive as Khloe Kardashian at a wing eating contest.

PHOTO CAPTION:  “I need fuel.”

Others are speculating Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie was completely fine with McDermott coaching their defense, but thought he could fire him and bring him back for less money. They even toyed with the notion of giving him a raise so they could justify dumping his exorbitant salary, a second source told one of our sources.

Okay, but let’s look at this in a more mature way.  Denver signed Dennis Allen.  Cleveland signed Dick Jauron.  Mike Pettine Jr doesn’t seem to show any interest.  Unless the Philadelphia Eagles are eying up someone from the Packer’s organization, they are quickly reviewing plan B, possibly plan C.

And ironically, plan C’s chapter title is “Hire back Sean McDermott, because we think it’s great when one of our defensive ends is stuck covering a wide receiver.”

Get someone to review your resume and contact your references, you could be the next defensive coordinator for the Philadelphia Eagles.  In a surprise move, Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie has decided to select his next coach through a reality television competition, which will be hosted by former Eagles special teamer Ike Reese and MTV’s Jersey Shore star Paul “Pauly D” DelVecchio.

Lurie doesn’t believe his coaching position needs to be filled immediately because there hasn’t been a resolution with the NFL collective bargaining agreement, which expires on March 4th.

PHOTO CAPTION:  Ike Reese is a legendary motivational speaker

“I don’t see the rush,” Lurie told OTR at a high-school kegger in some remote South Jersey orchards.  “It doesn’t look like free agency will start until a new agreement is reached.  And I don’t see a new agreement being reached anytime soon.  So, let’s do this the right way. The reality way.”

Is this reactionary?  The Eagles lost Dick Jauron to the Browns and Dennis Allen to the Broncos.  It doesn’t look like a lateral move makes sense for the Jets’ Mike Pettine Jr.  What names are still out there?  Eric Mangini?  Green Bay’s Mike Trogovac?  Maybe it’s you?!

The Philadelphia Eagles are now accepting resumes for the position.  Once the resumes are reviewed, fifty candidates will be interviewed by head coach Andy Reid and Lurie.  Out of those fifty candidates, ten will be selected to appear on the show, which has been rumored to be titled Pauly’s D.

“This was all Pauly D’s idea,” Ike Reese told OTR‘s Jason Ashworth through a few some-what mutual friends at a sweet sixteen roller-skating party.  “He’s a huge Philadelphia Eagles fan.  He approached Lurie with the idea, axed him if he was interested and he loved it.”

Why did he love it?  Money.  The show is expected to generate enough revenue to resign Ernie Sims or another mediocre linebacker who overruns plays.

Pauly’s D is expected to air either the second week of February or in early-late June.  The rights to the show are still being negotiated between two national networks in certain regions of the northeast.  Resumes can be sent to 1020 Pattison Ave, Philadelphia, PA 19148.   ATTN:  Pauly D.

There were many thoughts running through every NFL fan’s head last Sunday evening as they watched the St Louis Rams play some sort of football against the Seattle Seahawks. Let me list a couple: Have I ever seen Charlie Whitehurst in a porno before? Please stop talking about the 12th man. Why am I still watching this game? What’s wrong with Sam Bradford’s face?

PHOTO CAPTION: Focus, stare, focus, stare, focus….stare. You just can’t coach that.

There was also something running through Pete Carroll’s head and it was whether or not Matt Hasselbeck would be ready for Wild Card Weekend. Let’s be honest, the Whitehurst-led Seahawks won the game, but it wasn’t because the Seahawks were led by Whitehurst. It was because the Rams sucked even more than the Seahawks. Don’t get me wrong, Hasselbeck isn’t close to what he used to be. His last good year was 2007. But, Whitehurst is awful. After that first drive on Sunday night he threw for 53 yards. For three-and-half quarters he threw for 53 yards. The Seahawks were lucky to win.

So, despite Charlie managing his team to victory to clinch the NFC West, Carroll made the correct decision to go with Hasselbeck as the starter this weekend against the New Orleans Saints. Hasselbeck has the big-game experience. He’s won playoff games and he led the Seahawks to Super Bowl XL in a game they should have won if the refs didn’t have money on the Steelers.

With all of that said, I still see the Saints silencing the 12th man early and cruising to an easy 31-10 victory over the Seahawks. But it’s not about winning and losing, it’s about Pete Carroll making the right choice.

I thought the most-likely retirement and the $50,000 paid to Jenn Sterger was it.  I thought Brett Favre was starting to slip out of our lives.  Guess what?  He’s back.  Two former New York Jets massage therapists filed a lawsuit against Favre, the New York Jets, and Lisa Ripi (she hired the massage therapists for the Jets).

It’s blatantly obvious these two women, Christina Scavo and Shannon O’Toole, are only thinking of themselves.  How many people tonight and tomorrow are going to find out about these allegations and say, “What the f*#@, I thought we were done hearing about this guy.”  Nope.  It seems Favre has signed a one-year extension to our sports lives.

PHOTO CAPTION:  People don’t realize that Brett Favre won an Emmy for his work on There’s Something About Mary

First, let me admit that I appreciated Jenn Sterger coming back into our lives.  I loved her lead role as the Florida State cheerleader-in-the-stands.  She was the pack leader of a fine group of ladies.  Her school spirit and Playboy appearance swept through the college football country, intriguing other belly-shirted, short jean-cut-off wearing sorority girls to do the same.  As a football fan, she touched my heart.  And I thank Brett for that.

Do Scavo and O’Toole think they can come in and steal Jenn Sterger’s thunder?  And at the same time keep Brett Favre on the front page when football fans across the country thought the end was near?  There’s only one word for this.  Selfish.

If you haven’t heard, the suit alleges that Favre sent text messages to Scavo, O’Toole and another unidentified massage therapist which were inappropriate.  ABCnews.com is reporting these texts said the following:

“Brett here, you and Chrissy want to get together, I’m all alone.”

“Kinda lonely tonight, I guess I have bad intentions.”

“I can’t get my Wrangler jeans off.  They’re too tight.  But the zipper works.”

One of those I made up.

Furthermore, in late December or January with time running out in the game, one of Favre’s texts was intercepted by Scavo’s husband, Joseph Scavo.  Joseph demanded an apology for the treatment towards his wife, but Favre declined politely.  This paragraph was just a joke, just like these allegations.

PHOTO CAPTION:  Jenn Sterger has no clue what Jimmy Clausen is doing

The suit also alleges that the Jet’s locker room and training camp are “a hot bed of sexual harassment, sexism and inappropriate behavior.”  This is absolutely shocking news.  Who would think a locker room of football players would behave in such a way?  I guess boys will be boys?  Maybe someone should tell the women?

In conclusion, next time Favre is almost out of the picture ladies, keep your mouth shut.  Find how to make money another way.

Cleveland Brown’s president Mike Holmgren decided enough was enough and fired head coach Eric Mangini on Monday.   

In all fairness to Mangini, despite him being a total douchebag, it’s tough running a football organization with Jake Delhomme, Seneca Wallace, Brady Quinn, and Derek Anderson at quarterback.  Rookie Colt McCoy showed some promise, but a coach usually needs more than one year to develop a possible franchise quarterback.

PHOTO CAPTION:  “Two in the what?  And one in the huh?”

Mangini’s two-year career with the Browns finished with four straight losses and a 10-22 overall record.  They looked to be turning things around this year with the emergence of Peyton “The Avalanche” Hillis, but two ugly losses against the Buffalo Bills and Cincinnati Bengals which would have gotten them to .500 if they had won killed any chances of being a respected football team.

Mangini’s future may be found as the head coach of the UCONN men’s football team.  Cleveland’s vacancy, if not filled by Mike Holmgren, could be inviting to Eagles offense coordinator Marty Mornhinweg, ex-Panthers coach John Fox, or Jon Gruden, whose name surfaces with every available coaching position.  Interstingly enough, Gruden is now getting offers for almost every job position imaginable; incuding, CEO of Johnson & Johnson, Store Manager of Bloomingdales at the Willow Grove Mall in Pennsylvania, and Senior Cash Invesment Manager at Goldman Sachs.

According to ESPN’s Chris Mortensen, newly-hired Florida coach Will Muschamp has recruited Charlie Weis away from the Kansas City Chiefs to become the offense coordinator for the Gators.  Although the deal is a ‘foregone conclusion,’ Weis will finish off the season, including the playoffs, with the Chiefs.

PHOTO CAPTION:  Charlie wears a grey shirt and walks off the field with a piece of paper in his left hand

Reports are also indicating that Muschamp intends to install a pro-style offense with pro-style quarterbacks and wide receivers.  And who else to bring aboard than a fat guy who failed to do the exact same thing at Notre Dame?  Come on, that’s not fair.  Weis has been a very successful offense coordinator at the pro-level and should do fine in Florida. 

As for who will replace Charlie Weis as the offense coordinator in Kansas City, that still remains to be seen.  But maybe even the bigger question, who will replace the guy who will replace Charlie Weis?  This could really create the snowball effect.

Good news for Philadelphia Sixers fans who follow the team closely, non-All-Star guard/forward Andre Iguodala will miss the next five games because of his right Achilles tendinitus.  He was listed as day-to-day, but coach Doug Collins wanted to give him extended rest so the foot can heal. 

The injury has been bothering Iguodala all season, but more importantly, his play has been bothering Sixers fans all season.  His Achilles injury seems to have a direct effect on his poor decision making and taking unneccesary three-pointers with 20 seconds left on the shot clock (or when there’s nobody under the basket to rebound).

PHOTO CAPTION:  Iguodala tries to beat the shot clock, but hits it instead

Despite the negative vibe I’m giving, I will reveal Iggy does lead the NBA in missed shots that bounce hard off the rim and into the cord above the backboard.  This doesn’t equate to points, but the whistle blows, time is stopped, and his teammates get a much-deserved rest.  You can’t coach this, Iggy just knows when the team needs him.

The Sixers have proven during this young season they can play and win games without Iguodala on the court.   As the Feb 24th trade deadline approaches, all eyes are on Ed Stefanski to see if he can move the Olympic B-Teamer.  A nice collection of expiring contracts would be nice, unless it’s Samuel Dalembert’s.

As the February 24th trade deadline slowly approaches, the talks between the Nuggets and whoever wants the services of All-Star forward Carmelo Anthony are getting more and more ridiculous.  Specifically, the talks with the New Jersey Nets.

PHOTO CAPTION:  After taco night, Melo’s teammates request he sits away from the team

Adrian Wojnarowski of Yahoo! Sports was told by league sources that the Denver Nuggets are holding firm on a trade demand of five future first-round picks in exchange for Melo.  Five first-round picks!  There’s a bunch of other ‘this guy goes here,’ ‘this expiring contract goes there,’ and ‘these teams need to get involved, too,’ but there’s no reason to get into that.  Why?  Carmelo Anthony will not be going to the New Jersey Nets. 

The Nets are tremendously desperate to add Carmelo Anthony to the roster.  They’ll do anything; hence, the Nuggets standing firm on their crazy request.  However, Carmelo is not-so desperate to head to New Jersey to play for a team that Lebron James just stated should be eliminated from the leauge. 

So, listen to all the rumors you want, but there will be only one destination for Melo…The New York Knicks.  If he was smart, he would consider Chicago, as well.  But the New Jersey Nets?  I don’t think so.

Some sports records are sacred.  Joe Dimaggio’s 56-game hit streak.  Wilt Chamberlain’s 100-point game.  Nolan Ryan’s seven no-hitters.  Even Brett Favre’s 297-game streak.  The list goes on and there is one thing in common…they all come from men’s sports.

PHOTO CAPTION:  Don’t tell these fans nobody cares

Call me sexist, call me sexy, call me what you want, but I can’t find one person who cares about the UCONN women winning 90 straight games or who are sad that they lost last night.  I actually can’t find one person who cares about women’s college basketball.  Maybe all the dudes at the sports bar are too scared to bring the topic up? 

“Hey, Trevor, did you see the UCONN women haven’t lost since 2008?”

“What Pete?  Did you hear what Pete just asked?  Someone get him a cosmo.”

Don’t get me wrong, winning 90 straight games is pretty amazing.  My point is nobody cares.  Maybe a small group of people care, but in the general sporting community, the Lady Huskies never come up in conversations.  I don’t even know if they are the Lady Huskies?  Isn’t that what college’s do?  Just add ‘Lady’ in front of their men’s team nickname?   The Lady Orangemen of Syracuse?  I don’t pay attention to that kind of stuff.

When you turn on ESPN2 and there’s women’s college basketball on, what do you do?  You turn it off, right?  Maybe you even add a “what the hell?” while your changing the channel?  It’s unfortunate, but it’s true.  How many two-handed set shots and missed lay-ups can you watch until you realize it’s more interesting to see if Rick sold a George Washington button on Pawn Stars? 

With all that said, congratulations to the UCONN women for their 90-game winning streak.  It’s unfortunate it had to end, but we all knew it would happen eventually.  And let’s also congratulate the Lady Cardinals of Stanford for ending the streak.  Now any ounce of publicity for the sport will vanish in thin air and men across the country can again focus on their favorite woman in sports, Jenn Sterger!!

It’s probably about time former NFL player Dave Meggett goes to jail.  After numerous sexual assault cases in Toronto and North Carolina, Meggett was finally sentenced to 30 years behind bars on charges of criminal sexual conduct and burglary, stemming from an encounter with a college student in North Charleston, S. C. in January 2009.

In 1998, Meggett was arrested in Toronto, Canada, after authorities said he allegedly assaulted an escort worker after a three-way sexual encounter.  A trial on the assault charge ended with a hung jury in April 2000.  Interestingly enough, the three-way sexual encounter started with a hung Meggett.

In 2007, he was convicted of misdemeanor sexual battery in North Carolina, receiving only two years of probation.

On the better part of his resume, Meggett was a two-time Pro Bowl selection and part of the New York Giants team that won Super Bowl XXV.  Also, his 3,708 punt return yards are currently the second most in NFL history.  His three to four sexual assault allegations are currently 312th most in NFL history.

Seattle Seahawks (+6.5) over Chicago Bears

Two teams have never controlled their own destiny this early in a season more than the Chicago Bears and Seattle Seahawks. If either team wins out, they will win their respective divisions, which makes this Week Six match-up OTR’s Featured Game Of The Week. Unfortunately, for the Seahawks, Sunday’s game won’t be featuring Todd Collins, who completed six passes to his own team and four passes to the Carolina Panthers last week. His performance most resembled Damon Wayans’ 2006 stand-up routine Still Standing, entertaining and humorous. There was one play where Collins actually threw an incomplete hand-off, also known as a fumble, but I like my wording better.  Let me explain. Instead of gently laying the ball in the stomach of his running back, Collins flinged the ball to his gut with a weird front-handed wrist toss. There was no need for him to do that. However, nobody can question his toughness and fortitude. He was still standing at the end of the game with a win and 32 more passing yards added to his career totals. Bears fans can’t wait to see Jay Cutler back.  Chicago Bears 24 Seattle Seahwaks 20

Baltimore Ravens (+2.5) over New England Patriots

What happens when two teams square off on the same field they battled nine months before in the 2009 Wild Card playoff round?  It becomes, OTR’s Featured Game Of The Week.  However, two key components from last years 33-14 beat down will not be suiting up, Randy Moss and Ed Reed.  Randy Moss (five catches for 48 yards on Jan. 10th) was traded to the Minnesota Vikings less than two weeks ago and Ed Reed (four tackles and one interception on Jan. 10th) is still on the PUP list recovering from off-season hip surgery.  So, let’s turn our focus on their replacements, Baltimore safety Tom Zbikowski and New England wide receiver Brandon Tate.  Actually, let’s not.  Let’s discuss what’s going to happen in the game.  Tom Brady will get pummeled by never-ending blitz packages.  They will come from the right.  They will come from the left.  And some will actually come through the middle.  Who is New England’s threat anymore?  BenJarvus?  Aaron Hernandez?  Little Julian Edelman?  The Pied Piper of Hamelin?  Jack Bauer?  I’ll give you Wes Welker, but Baltimore will keep him in check.  Tom Brady is a great quarterback, but I just don’t see the weapons that can pick apart this Ravens defense.  Furthermore, the Ravens are not as sloppy as the Miami Dolphins, so you won’t see punt blocks, kick returns for touchdowns or any other special teams disasters.  It’s quite possible we might see a repeat of January’s playoff game.  Baltimore Ravens 33 New England Patriots 14

Pittsburgh Steelers (-14) over Cleveland Browns

In this super-exciting, lopsided rivalry, two quarterbacks will be getting their first start of the season.  Ben Roethlisberger is coming off his four-game suspension for doing steroids and smoking endless amounts of pot.  And rookie Colt McCoy will be under center for the Browns after the dramatic deaths of Jake Delhomme and Seneca Wallace.  You know the phrase ‘Any given Sunday’?  Well, the phrase doesn’t have anything to do with this game, which just so happens to be OTR’s Featured Game Of The Week.  Cleveland has zero shot to win this game, or to even cover.  There’s a better chance that the Philadelphia 76ers will play the Golden State Warriors in the NBA Finals this season.  There’s a better chance that Lindsey Lohan will stop snorting Red Bull and coke up her nose.  There’s a better chance that I won’t watch anymore episodes of River Monsters.  All I want to know is what’s on the end of his line and I’ll watch one full hour to see.  I’m hooked, no pun intended.  I’m lying.  That pun was most certainly intended.  I had ‘addicted’ but changed it to hooked.  There’s a better chance that the…..alright, we get the picture.  Cleveland is getting smoked like Santonio Holmes’ bong.  Pittsburgh Steelers 31 Cleveland Browns 10

Oakland Raiders (+7) over San Francisco 49ers

What?  The 49ers have proved week after week that they stink worse than a dirty hippie on a curry diet.  So, Vegas makes them a seven point favorite?  Granted, they are playing the Raiders, but a seven point favorite?  What this line tells me is that as bad as the 49ers are, the Raiders are that much worse, but I’m not buying it.  Did 49ers owner Jed York’s speech about them winning the division inspire the gambling nation?  Has everyone been taking the Niners, pushing the spread to minus seven?  Or are the Raiders this bad?  I’m confused with this game.  I also feel bad for the state of California.  All three of their NFL football teams stink.  They are a combined 4-11.  That’s how short Snookie from the Jersey Shore is…4’11”.  And that’s how tall Alex Smith plays at quarterback…4’11”.  You know what?  Oakland isn’t this bad.  This line is an insult to the Raiders and their fans.  And they will take their frustrations out on the miserable 0-5 49ers in OTR’s Featured Game Of The Week.  Alex Smith can kiss his starting job away.  Oakland Raiders 27 San Francisco 49ers 13

Season Record (5-3)

Odds based on Saturday’s NFL lines on Vegasinsider, MGM Mirage.

On Monday Night, it was obvious that Brett Favre’s elbow was causing him some discomfort.  During the second half, he was seen grabbing his throwing elbow after many of his passes.  Tendinitis will do that.

Many Packers, Jets, and Vikings fans might view Brett’s in-game elbow grabbing as a ploy to set up an excuse for when he throws the game-ending interception.  “Oh, it’s my tendinitis.”  He did throw the usual game-ending interception, but it wasn’t a ploy, he actually does have tendinitis in his elbow.

Favre said on Wednesday he would consider sitting out a game or two for the Minnesota Vikings this season if the tendinitis in his right elbow gets worse.  If he does sit out a game it will end his NFL-record for straight games played at 288.  But even worse, it will mean Tavaris Jackson will get under center.  But maybe it’s time?  Haven’t we always wanted to see Jackson paired up with Randy Moss?

What can cause elbow tendinitis?  OTR reached out to a doctor and asked him this very question.  His answer?  Excessive texting and/or Jenn Sterger pictures.

Due to the Minnesota Twins failing to win any games against the New York Yankees, Philadelphia sports fans throughout this beautiful nation will have to decide which of their teams will be televised in their household.  Will it be Game 3 of the NLDS (8:07pm EST), featuring the Philadelphia Phillies and Cole Hamels vs the Cincinnati Reds?  Or will it be Sunday Night Football (8:20pm EST) presenting the Philadelphia Eagles and Kevin Kolb vs the San Francisco 49ers?

There’s an easy solution to this problem.  Run a cable cord from your living room to your family room and set up two televisions and swapping the sound from game to game pending on who is on offense.  But for the sake of arguing about which game should be the featured game, let’s break it down using simple calculus and physics.

Importance of the game

The playoff game is the most important.  Not so fast, Speedy Claxton.  The Phillies have a comfortable 2-0 series lead with Roy Halladay going in Game 4.  Stranger things have happened, but I’ll put my weekly allowance on the Phillies being able to win one of the next two games.  As for the Eagles, this is a must-win game.  If you haven’t been watching, the NFC this year is wide open.  Nobody is killing it.  Minnesota, Green Bay, and Dallas don’t necessarily look like Super Bowl teams right now.  I’m not saying the Eagles do either, but with a healthy Mike Vick, who knows?  3-2 looks a whole lot better than 2-3.  The Eagles need this game more than the Phillies.  Edge:  Philadelphia Eagles

Commentators and Channel

TBS is awful.  Why can’t they just hire Gus Johnson and let him get unbelievably excited every time Cole Hamels throws a strike.  “Sttteeeeeee-RIKE one!  WOW!  Right down the pipe.  Coooole HAMELS.  WOW.”  Nope, we get a couple monotone announcers who seem to be folding their laundry as they let the Fast Track feature call the game for them.  As for NBC’s Sunday Night Football…well…Chris Collinsworth.  Need I say more?  Edge:  Philadelphia Eagles

Viewing pleasure

Kevin Kolb vs the 0-4 49ers?  Yuck.  If you’re going to watch the Eagles game, you’re going to have to sit throw an ugly, boring game.  Check down to Owen Schmitt for 2 yards.  Sack.  Overthrown pass to a wide open Desean Jackson.  Punt.  At least the Phillies game will have that post-season excitement, even if it is a low-scoring game.  I’d rather watch a 3-0 Phillies game than a 3-0 Eagles game.  Edge:  Philadelphia Phillies

Which team deserves the attention more

All the Philadelphia Eagles seem to do is piss off their fans.  Horrible clock management, Jason Peters, inconsistent play, Jason Peters, arrogance, penalties, Kolb-Vick…Vick-Kolb, Andy Reid’s play-calling, Andy Reid’s game-planning and let’s not forget Jason Peters.  Year after year, the Phillies get it done.  They battle through injuries, they win when they need to, and they have a roster full of first-class guys, including a manager who everyone respects.  This is a no-brainer.  Edge:  Philadelphia Phillies

Intangibles

I’m not sure if the Philadelphia Eagles have any intangibles, so by default…Edge:  Philadelphia Phillies

In all reality, the Eagles aren’t going anywhere this year and the maturation process of Kevin Kolb has reached it’s peak, so why waste your time watching a game that most likely doesn’t mean anything when the Philadelphia Phillies are making a magical run to their third straight World Series appearance.  Winner:  Philadelphia Phillies

We passed along an item earlier from Reuben Frank of Phillyburbs.com, that the Philadelphia Eagles had contacted the Buffalo Bills about the availability of RB Marshawn Lynch. LeSean McCoy has a cracked rib and the Eagles apparently aren’t thrilled about the idea of watching the 1-2 combo of Mike Bell and Eldra Buckley for several weeks.

Photo Caption: Andy Reid enjoys listening to the radio in his office at a reasonable volume.

So, I started thinking about how those negotiations might go and came up with what could be a very quick process. Let’s see what would happen if Andy Reid himself got on the horn with Buddy Nix from the Buffalo Bills:

Andy: “So, what do you guys want for Marshawn?”

Nix: “A first-round pick.”

Andy: “STFU, Buddy. I’m being serious. I’ve got a banged up QB, a banged up RB and another quarterback who just can’t play, although I don’t think anyone else has noticed yet, thank god.”

Nix: “OK, make us an offer.”

Andy: “How about a fourth or a fifth or something like that? Beef up your line with Max Jean-Gilles?”

Nix: “How about a third?”

Andy: “How about I just give you Jason Peters back?”

Nix: “Okay, okay, we’ll do a fifth.”

We don’t know for sure if this is how it did/will go down, but it can’t be far off.

It feels like the NFL just started, but after this week 25 percent of the season will be done.  In a blink of an eye we’ll be a quarter of the way through.  So, before anything else flashes by, let’s get right into this weeks picks.

Houston Texans (-3) over Oakland Raiders

What a disappointing loss last week for the Houston Texans.  They were denied a 3-0 start against the Dallas Cowboys, a team they have always been second fiddle to in the state of Texas.  But playing second fiddle is better than not being able to play a fiddle at all.  Ladies and gentlemen, the Oakland Raiders.  After losing against the Arizona Cardinals last week in Glendale, the Raiders now face off against 13-straight teams they are supposed to lose to.  Some would say that’s a tough road ahead.  The stretch starts this Sunday against the Texans in the Raiders backyard.  A backyard that used to be so intimidating, but now resembles Chicago’s comedy club The Second City more than anything.  They have a great cast this year.  Tom Cable returned for his third season as the token, funny, fat guy.  Is he going to punch someone?  How many ex-wives does he have?  Man o man, he’s crazy!  Here comes Jason Campbell and Bruce Gradkowski.  Which one is going to throw an interception this week?  Who was that pass thrown to?  Stop, my stomach hurts, you guys are killing me!  Oh no…here comes big bad Richard Seymour.  Why is he always so mean?  No worries, Sebastian Janikowski just teed up the ball.  He’ll loosen everyone up with a wide left kick.  Oh, it was wide right.  Who saw that coming?  What a funny twist!  If you have a chance, buy some tickets for the show.  It’s full of laughs and very entertaining.  I believe this week might be a replay of Week One.  The cast forgets to block, commits many penalties, and turns the ball over.  Darren McFadden might guest star in an ‘oops, I’m running the wrong way’ skit.  That always gets’em.  Houston Texans 38 Oakland Raiders 13

San Francisco 49ers (+7) over Atlanta Falcons

What?  The San Francisco 49ers?  Don’t worry, I still have them losing by 6.9 points, I’m just taking the seven.  But if we can keep things real for a moment or two.  The Falcons are coming off a huge win in New Orleans, so a little set back might occur this week against the 49ers, a team that is more desperate for a win than Heidi Montag is for another week of plastic surgery.  And remember, I’m keeping it real.  What was the deal with everyone hyping up Alex Smith after the second half against New Orleans a couple Monday Nights ago?  Was everyone waiting for him to have one good game, so we could talk about how he has arrived?  And it wasn’t even one good game.  It was one good half.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, Ron Jaworski and Jon Gruden wouldn’t shut up about how impressed they were with his play.  And it had the trickle down effect with other analysts during the week following on ESPN.  We’re talking about the 28th ranked quarterback in the NFL.  Smith has thrown two touchdowns and five interceptions this year for an 0-3 team.  David Garrard has a better passing rating.  Yes, I said David Garrard.  I’m sorry Jaws and Chuckie, but your boy isn’t an NFL quarterback and Coach Singletary might get fired because of it.  I almost just talked myself out of San Fran covering, but I’m going with my gut.  My gut tells me to take the Niners and the points.  Kristy Alley’s gut tells her to eat.  Go with what works.  Atlanta Falcons 20.9 San Francisco 49ers 14

New York Jets (-5.5) over Buffalo Bills

The New York Jets have a simple bus ride up to Buffalo and guess who’s driving?  Braylon Edwards…and he’s two red bull and vodkas deep.  Northbound with the hammer down.  That’s how loose things are under Coach Rex Ryan.  Speaking of Edwards, what’s up with his new endzone dance where he pretends he’s slicking back his hair from front to back, right in the face of the defender?  Is that going to be his thing all season long?  I sure hope so.  I guess it’s good he’s acting like John Travolta, cause it means he’s getting into the endzone.  Two scores this year already after only passing the pylons seven times in the past two seasons.  It seems like such a long time ago when he caught 16 touchdowns in 2007.  Will Santonio Holmes coming back from suspension help him or hurt him?  Too bad there isn’t anyone coming back from suspension for the Bills to help them get better.  Man, what a mess up there.  At what point do the fans just give their team to Toronto?  “We’ve had enough, you take’em.”  Buffalo is off to an 0-3 start, including two losses within the division.  There can’t be anything more depressing than finding out the NFL team you root for every year is already done in September…AGAIN.  However, there is one bright spot.  C. J. Spiller, the Bills 9th overall pick this past April.  Last weekend he got into the endzone twice against the Patriots, including a 95-yard kick off return in the third quarter.  He’ll need plenty of them this weekend if the Bills want to upset the Jets, but it’s not happening.  The Bills’ offense is so cold right now you can see the blue mountains of the Colorado Rockies visible on their uniforms.  Yes, Bills fans, time to drink.  New York Jets 23 Buffalo Bills 17

Baltimore Ravens (+1.5) over Pittsburgh Steelers

One looks at this game and they think, ‘this is going to be one defensive battle.’  Nope!  This has the potential to be one of the most highest scoring games in NFL history.  Quick question, what was the highest scoring game in NFL history?  Answer is…Washington Redskins 72 New York Giants 41, November 27th, 1966.  And just like that game, this game is also a division rivalry.  One of the best division rivalries in all of football.  A close second to the infamous Houston Texans-Jacksonville Jaguars rivalry that has football fans across America sitting at the edge of their seats everytime they play each other.  While everyone is prematurely yelling out Michael Vick and Jay Cutler for NFL MVP considerations, the Steelers have a player that is more important to his team than anyone else in the league.  Troy Polamalu.  For real.  I mean, how spectacular of a player is this guy?  He’s Head and Shoulders above the rest.  Unfortunately, the Ravens don’t have their Troy Polamalu (Ed Reed) in their lineup yet, but they do have 35-year old middle linebacker Ray Lewis, who still is the scariest player in the NFL to play against.  Despite the defensive names I’m throwing out there, I’m still thinking this will be a high-scoring affair.  Take the over, whatever it is.  It’s probably around 15 or 20 or something like that.  Baltimore Ravens 61 Pittsburgh Steelers 60

Season record (1-3)

Odds based on Thursday’s NFL lines on Vegasinsider, MGM Mirage.

Michigan Wolverines quarterback and Heisman hopeful Denard Robinson has been cleared to play against the Indiana Hoosiers in their Big Ten opener.  The two teams kick-off on Saturday at 3:30 PM ET at Indiana.

Robinson exited the game last Saturday against Bowling Green after bruising his knee in the first quarter and didn’t return.  Despite leaving the game early, Robinson led his team in rushing with 129 yards, including two touchdowns.  He also completed all four of his passes for 60 yards.  What he did in less than one quarter is more offense than Eastern Michigan will put up all year.

For the season, Robinson has put up 688 yards rushing with four scores, averaging 8.7 yards per carry.  Yes, he is a quarterback.  And yes, he can throw the ball, too.  In four games he has completed 57 of his 80 passes and has thrown for four touchdowns.

Robinson is undoubtedly the most exciting player to watch in college football this season and OTR hopes he stays healthy.  If he does, the numbers he puts up could be huge to quite huge.  We are making that bold prediction right here, right now.

As for Heisman predictions for this young season, Robinson is probably just edging out two other players; Boise State quarterback Kellen Moore and Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor.  Don’t count out Alabama running back Mark Ingram either.  As much as Robinson is exciting, Ingram is that much of a beast and can climb the Heisman charts very fast, which he did in Arkansas this past Saturday.

In a breaking story, that means absolutely nothing, ESPN.com is reporting that Carmelo Anthony is no longer being actively pursued by the Nets, according to NBA front-office sources.

Why does this mean absolutely nothing?  Well, in the same story ESPN also states that the trade could be revived or that the Nets will construct another multi-team offer for Anthony that the Nuggets find more enticing.

PHOTO CAPTION:  Carmelo once appeared on Deal or No Deal.  His briefcase had $10 in it

So what does this really mean?  New Jersey couldn’t get the right teams, players, salaries, cheerleaders, tickets, beer, or whatever to get this deal done.  Therefore, back to the drawing board to find another way to get Melo in New Jersey.  Furthermore, this won’t be the last of the Melo to New Jersey talks.  Perhaps tomorrow a new rumor will circulate.

But I’ll tell you what makes most sense.  Melo gets traded to the New York Knicks in a three, four, five, maybe six-team….hell, why not a seven-team trade.  Then Chris Paul joins Melo and Amare Stoudemire the following year.  Doesn’t that make the most sense?  I mean for real?  Why would Carmelo want to play for the New Jersey Nets anyway?

You know that fantasy team in your league that waited until the 10th round to draft a quarterback and now they’re hitting the waiver wire every week in hopes of landing someone who can put up 10 points?    Maybe their team name is Jacksonville Jaguars and their quarterbacks are David Garrard and Trent Edwards?  Well sucks for them now cause they’re on the same NFL team.

A day after being dumped from the Buffalo Bills, the Jacksonville Jaguars have claimed quarterback Trent Edwards off of waivers, according to Adam Schefter of ESPN.

PHOTO CAPTION:  The ladies say Trent looks good, NFL scouts say the exact opposite

When teams are stacked at the quarterback position like the Bills are, they’re gonna have to move on from one of their rifle-arm gems.  It was sad Trent had to be the sacrificial billy goat (I don’t even know what that means), but it had to happen.  At least the Bills can now have room to draft another running back.

Jacksonville’s starting quarterback, David Garrard, could be on a short leash with coach Jack Del Rio.  His play in the last two games have been below average to put it nicely.  To not put it nicely, he’s looked like a blind man who lost his dominant arm in a boating accident and is now attempting to throw a football with his other hand.  A couple more games like the previous two, and Trent could find some playing time.  And who knows, maybe Buffalo has absolutely no clue about what’s going on with their football team and Edwards could flourish in a new system.  However, you could argue that Jacksonville has no clue either.

In summary, both teams win.

My job as an amateur non-journalist is to please NFL fans with bold predictions and game insight.  You may call 1-800 numbers for Joey Bambino’s ‘lock of the week,’ but what he tells you isn’t the same thing he tells the next guy.  It’s his job to get 50% of the money on one side and 50% on the other.  That means 50% of the money will be coming back the next week for another pick.  More money for Joey Bambino.

Here at OTR, we’re always 100% right (some of the time), but it’s FREE advice.  Advice that you can’t find anywhere else.  And this week, to the delight of our NFC East fans, we are diving into each and every NFC East match up for Week Three.  There’s lots to talk about, so let’s get this started.

New York Giants (-3) over Tennessee Titans

It should be quite cold in New York this weekend (possible snow) and nobody plays better in 30 degree weather than Eli Manning and his face.  At this point of his career, many NFC scouts are comparing Eli to an older version of himself.  One who is more mature, but starting to lose certain instincts.  Hopefully, not football instincts.  And that’s the key word for this game.  Instincts.  I’ll tackle that thought next week.  Tennessee quarterbacks have targeted Bo Scaife, Ahmard Hall, and Craig Stevens a total of 11 times and every single time a reception was made.  That’s almost 100%.  Look for a huge game from all three.  We have them ranked TE1, FB1, and TE1, respectively.  Look to start them in Tennessee Titans only leagues.  What was the deal with Brandon Jacobs throwing his football gear into the stands last Sunday?  That fan really wanted Brandon’s souvenir.  I haven’t seen a guy have a tighter grip on a helmet since Paul Reubens was arrested in Sarasota, Florida.  Giants win in their New Playhouse:  New York Giants 24, Tennessee Titans 17

Washington Redskins (-3.5) over St Louis Rams

Interesting tidbit here.  Sam Bradford’s mom almost named his son, Donovan, after…well…you guessed it, Donovan McNabb.  McNabb was only 11 when Bradford was born, but his mom, Martha Bradford, knows talent when she sees it.  Now, 23 years later, Martha’s son gets to face off against McNabb in one of the most important games of his career (not including every single college game he played in).  Last week, McNabb threw for 426 yards, completing 73.7% of his passes and took his team to the fourth quarter with a 10-point lead (they had a 17-point lead with 0:01 left in the third quarter).  However, Washington’s horrible late-game defense and stupid penalties by the offense led to a fourth quarter collapse and an overtime loss.  Sound familiar, McNabb?  It’s like you never were traded from Philly.  But there is a difference now that you are in Washington.  Angelo Cataldi and the 610 WIP morning crew don’t have a radio show in D. C., so the finger isn’t being pointed at you for not throwing for 500 yards and putting up 33 points.  I mean seriously, McNabb?  Didn’t Angelo teach you anything during your 11-year stint with the Eagles?  Anyway, the Rams still are not good.  Steven Jackson is a stud, but his productivity doesn’t equate to wins.  Look for DeAngelo Hall to shut down the Rams number one receiver…Mark Clayton I guess…like he said he’d f*cking do.  This is a game where I take the veteran quarterback over the rookie quarterback.  It’s actually a lock.  3.5 points?  C’mon.  Washington easily covers.  Washington Redskins 27, St Louis Rams 13

Philadelphia Eagles (-3) over Jacksonville Jaguars

Philadelphia Eagles fans don’t know how good they got it.  Well, compared to the Jacksonville Jaguars.  Jaguars quarterback David Garrard is coming off a horrendous four interception game in a 38-13 loss against the San Diego Chargers.  So, who can coach Jack Del Rio put in when Garrard is struggling (or if he gets concussed)?  How about that 11-year veteran out of St. Cloud State Todd Bouman?  You got it.  Imagine if Garrard has to miss time.  The Jags don’t have a Michael Vick waiting in the wings.  So, Eagles fans, get over it.  Some teams don’t have any quarterbacks and you’re complaining because your coach is dancing around two quality ones.  Speaking of St Cloud State, guess what other athletes came out of this Division II school?  Did any Phillies fans say Jim Eisenreich?  Back to the game.  Vick and the Eagles offense are going to be running all over EverBank Field.  The only problem is Maurice Jones-Drew will be doing the same against a soft Eagles defense (did you watch Jahvid Best last weekend?).  Maybe the return of Stewart Bradley (concussion) will help solidify the middle of the field.  But, what’s up with Eagles safety Quintin Consadine…sorry…I mean Quintin Mikell?  He hasn’t played a good game since Brian Dawkins was given the boot.  He’s starting to look a little Michael Lewisesque.  As bad as this Eagles defense is, they still seem to cause turnovers which is an area the Jaguars like to feed into.   I see Michael Vick leading the Eagles to another victory.  The guy just wins football games. 

PROP BET UDDA WEEK: How many times will Jason Peters go down with what looks like a career-ending injury (yet he’ll return several plays later)? The over-under is 1.5.

Philadelphia Eagles 34, Jacksonville Jaguars 24

Houston Texans (-3) over Dallas Cowboys

See the pattern here?  Whoever is favored by a FG, take them.  I live by that rule.  Nothing is more humorous in life than watching Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and quarterback Tony Romo fail at football.  Lucky for us, it happens all the time.  And lucky for us, America’s Team could be 0-3 after this weekend is through.  On the flip side, the Texans could be 3-0 and the new undisputed heavyweight champ in Texas.  Well, Kelly Clarkson is technically still from Texas…but…I’m talking football here.  Andre Johnson is a beast.  That fourth-and-10 catch in the endzone last Sunday against the Redskins was spectacular.  Even if DeAngelo Hall is covering him, he still makes the catch.  It’s easy for Hall to talk smack after the fact.  Especially, since he’ll probably never play against Andre again.  Maybe in four years if he’s still around (DeAngelo that is).  Sticking with Andre, what if he played for the Giants?  Andre The Giant?  I like it, but I doubt he’d ever turn heel like that.  What’s wrong with the Cowboys?  Well, they’re a mess.  The end of last season was a mirage.  They went on a little run and beat a weak Philadelphia Eagles team two times in a row.  They beat them handily which got everyone excited, but in reality, that Eagles defense was pitiful.  Shaun Hill could have torched them.  Wait, he did?  Then The Boys went to Minnesota and got buried.  No real significant offseason moves, a bad offensive line, no running game, a bad coach, a quarterback’s face that only Eli Manning could enjoy and this is what you have, your 2010 0-3 Dallas Cowboys.  Houston Texans 31, Dallas Cowboys 21

Odds based on Thursday’s NFL lines on Vegasinsider, MGM Mirage.

Philadelphia Phillies shortstop Jimmy Rollins, who has been in and out of the starting lineup due to injuries all year, participated in a simulated game on Thursday at Citizens Bank Park in front of a sell-out crowd.

J-Roll hasn’t played since September 8th (12 games) after tweaking his hamstring against the Florida Marlins.  He’s played in only 82 games this season, missing a big chunk in the beginning with a hurt foot.

His replacement Wilson Valdez has been playing great baseball, both offensively and defensively.  For the month of September, he is batting .320 with a .404 on-base-percentage, hitting out of the 8th-hole.  Defensively, he has fit in very nicely with double-play partner Chase Utley.  Their infield hasn’t lost a beat turning the “6-4-3″ or the “4-6-3.”

During the simulated game, Rollins led his team to victory increasing their lead over the Braves by 6.5 games.

Dallas Cowboy Patrick Crayton, who can’t seem to find the time he wants due to better wide outs being ahead of him on the depth chart (and frankly he’s not as good as he thinks he is), wants to be released prior to Saturday’s deadline for final cuts.

PHOTO CAPTION:  Crayton gets a 15-yard penalty for horse-collaring himself

“It seems he doesn’t figure in their plans so it’s not logical to be on the roster until Saturday,” his agent Fred Lyles spoke on behalf of the disgruntled receiver. “We don’t see the use in prolonging it.”

Most likely, it will happen.  Crayton is owed $2 million this year and that seems a bit much for a 5th receiver’s salary.  Patrick finds himself behind teammates Miles Austin, Roy Williams, Dez Bryant, and possibly even Kevin Ogletree.

If Crayton is cut, he will definitely find another team to play for.  He will join that team with the thought of getting increased playing time and changing the world.  In reality, he’ll be a part-time slot receiver catching less balls than he thinks he should be.

Friday is a big day for the Pittsburgh Steelers, their fans, and fantasy owners who selected Ben Roethlisberger in the 12th round of their fantasy drafts to back-up Brett Favre.  Roethlisberger, his attorney David Cornwell, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, and team president Arthur J. Rooney will be meeting in New York to determine how many games, if any, they will cut from Roethlisberger’s original six-game suspenion.  Brett Favre was giving an informal invitation, but will not be attending.

Roethlisberger was suspended the six games under the “The Personal Conduct Policy” for being accused of sexually assaulting a 20-year-old college student in a Georgia nightclub in March.  It was the second such allegation against Big Ben who has two Super Bowl victories underneath his belt.  A belt that seems to come off a little too often when Jaeger Bombs and Miller Lite are mixed with college bars and young women.

ESPN’s Sal Paolantonio reports that ‘most observers believe Goodell has had in his mind all along to reduce the suspension by two games to four’ if ‘Roethlisberger complied with a number of league-imposed conditions, including a comprehensive behavioral evaluation, and stayed clear of any other off-field problems.’  Fortunately for Big Ben, he hasn’t been accused of sexually assaulting any women lately (the longest stretch of his career), so he should be rewarded with a reduction in his suspension.

Details on the behavioral evaluation:

• Roethlisberger will be shown pictures of young women, booze, teammates, and football and he has to respond “good” or “bad.”  He must score 75% or higher to pass and has 30 minutes to complete.  Pictures of young women wearing Pittsburgh Steelers jerseys will be mixed in to try to trick him.  These are called ‘roadblocks.’
• Roethlisberger will be given a taste test.  Unmarked plastic cups will be filled with Vodka-Redbull, Budweiser, Gatorade, and water and he has to respond “good” or “bad.”  He must score 75% or higher to pass and has 30 minutes to complete.  A young woman will be giving him the taste test, so if at any time he tries to sexually assault her, Roethlisberger automatically fails the test and the behavioral evaluation.
• Roethlisberger must score 75% or higher on both evaluations to pass.

Paolantonio is also reporting that ‘Roethlisberger’s representatives plan to ask the commissioner to reduce the suspension by at least three games.  Therefore, he will miss the Atlanta, Tennessee, and Tampa Bay games and return Week Four to play the rival Baltimore Ravens at home.  If Roethlisberger only gets a two game reduction, he will miss the Ravens game and then have two weeks to prepare (Bye Week) and return to play the Cleveland Browns (Week Six) at home.

In his absence at the start of the season, Byron Leftwich is supposed to start with Dennis Dixon backing him up.