Usually, OTR requires a softball or baseball player to throw two perfect games before we even consider them for our OTR Athlete of the Week award. And Perry thinks they should also at least sniff hitting for the cycle in both of those games. This eliminates any American League pitchers right off the bat.

But this time we decided to make an exception and soften the rules. And so, we congratulate Elk Lake High School Junior Brooke Darling on being this week’s OTR Athlete of the Week. Darling tossed a perfect game last week (or sometime around then, we aren’t much into research and facts around here if you didn’t notice already) in a 10-0 win over those bums from Susquehanna, striking out 20 of 21 batters. We’re serious.

Photo Caption: Acting on bad advice, Brooke mistakenly worked out with magician David Blaine in the offseason. It didn’t help her pitching one bit, but it did allow her to perform neat levitation party tricks like this.

We have a feeling that many of the Runnin’ Woodpeckers (we have no idea what Susquehanna’s real nickname is) will be “runnin’” wind sprints at their next practice. Seriously? One person put the ball in play? Lean into a pitch why don’t you! Do something! Fake an injury! Something! She’s killing you!

We weren’t there, but we think it’d be great if she pulled a Carlos Perez every time she strikes someone out and points at that them as a taunt. It wouldn’t make friends, but it would make us laugh.

Shortly thereafter, Darling and her Elks (we don’t know if that’s the right nickname for them either. But it says Elk Lake and it’s not a far cry to think that they could be the Elk Lake Elks) took on those heathens from Western Wayne. Darling didn’t care about the perfect game this time as she sent some chin music in to the first batter. Yeah, it connected. We don’t know if she did it on purpose or not (99.9% sure it’s the latter), but we think it would be great if she did. After that, she was only able to muster six no-hit innings while striking out 14. Sorry about that, Brooke. Get ‘em next time?

Photo Caption: Carlos will tell you exactly what he thinks of you and your lousy at-bat.

So, congratulations to Brooke Darling, this week’s OTR Athlete of the Week. You don’t get any prize or money or trophy for winning this award, but you get Perry’s respect instead. And in most local bars in Doylestown, PA, that’s worth more than any trophy ever could be.

DISCLAIMER: OTR’s Athlete of the Week is presented semi bi-monthly and cannot be traded in or combined with any other OTR offer or competition. While OTR Athletes of the Week don’t receive physical compensation or awards, they do get a good-for-one-week parking pass that allows them the luxury of using the handicapped parking space at Perry’s uncle’s deli mart in Upper Darby, PA. Once the parking pass has expired, it cannot be re-used and you would officially be taking the space of someone who needed it.

OTR would like to salute this week’s OTR Athlete of the Weeks, Denise Dupont! We actually do have a pretty good idea of who she is. Denise is on the curling team for Denmark and she may or may not be very good at what she does.

Denise is on the curling team with her sister Madeleine, who we also sort of considered for OTR Athlete of the Week, but she didn’t fit the criteria. There is another girl that we saw on their curling team that couldn’t really fit into her own pants let alone our criteria. She was thusly not considered for the award.

So congratulations to Denise Dupont for being our OTR Athlete of the Week! Keep curling hard!

Photo Caption: Hooraayyyy for curling!

OTR would like to congratulate U.S. Olympic player Tanith Belbin for being this week’s OTR Athlete of the Week! Tanith is in the Olympics and does great things. She has a uniform and plays a sort of sport that involves cold things like ice or snow.

We aren’t exactly sure what it is she does, but we’ve heard that she’s currently in fourth place. Hopefully she will work hard and do something good enough so that she will finish higher than that.

So we congratulate Tanith on being this week’s OTR Athlete of the Week!

This week’s OTR Athlete of the Week comes to us from the United States women’s curling team. We LOVE curling! And we love Nicole Joraanstad. She is so awesome at what she does…we think. She is definitely on the team and definitely does stuff. She does a lot of curling-related things for the team. And for that, we love her……a lot. She’s the blond one that makes us love curling so much. Awesome sport.

Photo Caption: (Left to right) – God no, if we were drunk, YES, probably not.

Let’s face it, it’s tough to get into a women’s college soccer game between (insert any college name here) and (insert any college name here). But we found the New Mexico/BYU game particularly interesting as it featured OTR’s Athlete of the Week, Elizabeth Lambert. She was so phenomenal in the 1-0 loss to BYU that she made SportsCenter. Now that’s some talent.

Here are the highlights of her performance (and check out the hot blond on BYU. The only problem is that she goes to BYU and probably doesn’t “do it.”)

Disclaimer: OTR’s Athlete of the Week Award is given bi-monthly to athletes who show exemplary behavior and talent both on and off the field. Not all of these rules apply and are subject to change.

We are proud to honor this week’s OTR Athlete of the Week, Ashley Harkleroad.

We are honoring Ashley for her dedication and commitment to her sport. And when it comes to sportsmanship, I think we’d all agree that none show more class than Ashley.

We aren’t sure exactly what sport she plays, but we think it could be tennis. Or golf. Actually, it could be field hockey. Regardless, when Ashley takes the field or court, she is 100% dedicated to doing whatever it is she’s supposed to be doing. We are absolutely certain that she does a hell of a job.

We also aren’t completely positive of Ashley’s age or what country she is from. But either way, she does her country proud every time she plays her sport.

So congratulations, Ashley! You are OTR’s Athlete of the Week.

LEGAL NOTICE: OTR’s Athlete of the Week is presented bi-monthly and may not be duplicated or reproduced without expressed written consent from OTR or its partners.