Get someone to review your resume and contact your references, you could be the next defensive coordinator for the Philadelphia Eagles.  In a surprise move, Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie has decided to select his next coach through a reality television competition, which will be hosted by former Eagles special teamer Ike Reese and MTV’s Jersey Shore star Paul “Pauly D” DelVecchio.

Lurie doesn’t believe his coaching position needs to be filled immediately because there hasn’t been a resolution with the NFL collective bargaining agreement, which expires on March 4th.

PHOTO CAPTION:  Ike Reese is a legendary motivational speaker

“I don’t see the rush,” Lurie told OTR at a high-school kegger in some remote South Jersey orchards.  “It doesn’t look like free agency will start until a new agreement is reached.  And I don’t see a new agreement being reached anytime soon.  So, let’s do this the right way. The reality way.”

Is this reactionary?  The Eagles lost Dick Jauron to the Browns and Dennis Allen to the Broncos.  It doesn’t look like a lateral move makes sense for the Jets’ Mike Pettine Jr.  What names are still out there?  Eric Mangini?  Green Bay’s Mike Trogovac?  Maybe it’s you?!

The Philadelphia Eagles are now accepting resumes for the position.  Once the resumes are reviewed, fifty candidates will be interviewed by head coach Andy Reid and Lurie.  Out of those fifty candidates, ten will be selected to appear on the show, which has been rumored to be titled Pauly’s D.

“This was all Pauly D’s idea,” Ike Reese told OTR‘s Jason Ashworth through a few some-what mutual friends at a sweet sixteen roller-skating party.  “He’s a huge Philadelphia Eagles fan.  He approached Lurie with the idea, axed him if he was interested and he loved it.”

Why did he love it?  Money.  The show is expected to generate enough revenue to resign Ernie Sims or another mediocre linebacker who overruns plays.

Pauly’s D is expected to air either the second week of February or in early-late June.  The rights to the show are still being negotiated between two national networks in certain regions of the northeast.  Resumes can be sent to 1020 Pattison Ave, Philadelphia, PA 19148.   ATTN:  Pauly D.

Cleveland Browns president Mike Holmgren went on the Dan Patrick show today and was asked about his QB situation. Would he let Brady Quinn and Derek Anderson battle it out in training camp like they did last year? Will both of them even be on the roster come training camp?

“I won’t tell you that right now,” Holmgren said. “They’re both here right now. We’ll see how it goes. I’m not a big believer in that competition stuff.

“We better make up our mind before we go to camp and then put our resources into one guy.”

Photo Caption: Bad idea (left) and Bad idea (right).

Sounds like a smarter plan than last year, regardless of whatever the plan was last year. Their QB play was an unmitigated disgrace, so do the opposite of whatever Mangini did last year.

Actually, he did the competition thing last year. So we aren’t surprised that Holmgren wants to do something else. We can’t see both of these guys being the first and second stringers regardless of who starts. They were just terrible last season and something has to change.

Holmgren also talked about his decision to keep Mangini as head coach.

“Eric and I had a number of discussions and once I was sold on how he did things, his approach, how we hit it off and how I figured we could work together, then I made my decision,” Holmgren said. “I think it would have been really unfair of me to make any of those decisions prior to our having those meetings and so I tried purposely not to do that.”

The unthinkable has happened. Cleveland Browns head coach Eric Mangini will be back as head coach of the Cleveland Browns. New football czar Mike Holmgren has decided that he did a good enough job to warrant a second chance. The four-game win streak to end the season probably helped quite a bit.

“I’m happy to announce that Eric Mangini will return as head coach of the Cleveland Browns in 2010,” Holmgren said in a statement. “Over the past few weeks Eric and I have had a chance to talk on a number of occasions including our meetings over the last two days. I was able to gain some tremendous insight into his thought process and philosophies, and came away from our meetings very impressed.

“In my opinion, Eric has gained the respect and admiration of players, coaches and others in the organization, and with him continuing to lead the team I feel that we are headed in the right direction. Working together, our goal is to build on the strong tradition of this franchise and help get the Browns back to the playoffs.”

Now to pay Josh Cribbs.

There is a lot of talk (maybe too much talk) about the Cleveland Browns bringing in Mike Holmgren to be their football czar. Sources tell NFL Network’s Jason La Canfora that Holmgren is very interested in the job and that owner Randy Lerner is quite excited at the thought of adding the former Super Bowl-winning coach to his executive team.

However, several league executives tell La Canfora that if Holmgren were to get the job, it would mean the end of head coach Eric Mangini’s brief tenure with the club.

Mangini hasn’t had a ton of time to implement his system (whatever that means) and get his players in, but he hasn’t done a lot to make any friends either. The bottom line is that the Browns absolutely stink, and someone is going to have to pay. Is it Mangini’s fault that Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn can’t play? No, but if Holmgren came in, it would make perfect sense that he would want to hire someone in the Bill Walsh/West Coast mold.

This is great. Cleveland Browns RB Jerome Harrison is refusing to speak with the media for fear that what he really thinks will come out. He’s probably as sickened by his lack of touches and how awful the team is that he just won’t be able to hold back. We can’t say we blame him. The Browns are an unmitigated disgrace.

“Anything that he wants to talk about, he can come talk with me at any point, just like all these guys can,” head coach Eric Mangini said.

‘”It’s not like some other positions where you can play multiple guys at the same time,” he continued without offering an explanation of how any single NFL team could be so absolutely awful even when held up to the same light as the Oakland Raiders. “You can create some packages like that, but there’s one. You have certain things that you like Jamal to do. You have certain things that Jerome does. You have certain things that you want to see Chris [Jennings] do.”

We just don’t see how Randy Lerner can stay with Mangini past this season. Yes, it will hurt to continue to pay the salaries of fired executives, but this just ain’t happening. We’ve said this numerous times about the Raiders and we think it applies to the Browns as well. They have excellent fans and they deserve better than this.

A source tells Rich Cimini of the New York Daily News that the Jets selected LB Vernon Gholston last year with the #6-overall pick because then head coach Eric Mangini lobbied hard for him.

“That one’s on Eric,” one source said.

Gholston has no sacks in 24 games, rarely plays at all and it’s debatable whether or not he should even dress from week to week.

Jets GM Mike Tannenbaum did a little spin control when asked if now Cleveland Browns coach Mangini was the reason they took the defensive disaster.

“On all draft decisions, I have the final say,” he said. “But, organizationally, we felt good about Vernon. Although his rate of improvement isn’t where we want it to be, we’re still happy he’s here and we feel good about his future.”

Yeah right. There is no logical human being that could watch what Gholston does on the field and feel good about his future. You know for a fact that when owner Woody Johnson wants to sit Tannenbaum down to talk about his job performance that he’ll be very quick to point out that Mangini had his fingerprints all over this one.

We care about professional wrestling roughly about as much as we care about proper grammar and sentence structure. Which is….not very much, if at all.

But, we think it’s funny when someone wants to smack Eric Mangini, mainly because most people would like someone to do it. Well, the Miz, who is apparently a pro wrestler for WWE, came out and said as much.

“A person I’d like to see and smack the s— out of is Eric Mangini. That’s what I’d like to do. He is doing absolutely horrific. He is horrible,” says the Miz, who is a big Browns fan. “Brady Quinn sucks. Derek Anderson sucks. But the reason why they suck is that their offensive line is not giving them time to throw the ball. I want to smack Eric Mangini so hard he poops himself. The Browns are the new Lions. It’s horrific.”

Photo Caption: Yes, this is the same “Miz” who was on “The Real World” and used to get completely wasted and start crying and stuff. Tough to be intimidated by someone who has all that stuff on tape.

The real mystery here is how he said it. Did he said it in a normal, “I’m not on camera right now” type of tone? Or did he say like he he’s the Hulkster being interviewed by Mean Gene Oakerland about what he’s going to do to King Kong Bundy Saturday night? That would be a riot. I think we need more sports commentary and prognostications in the style of a WWE wrestler. Better yet, WWF.

Eric Mangini is a tough coach who knows how to win while still being friends with everyone. He is a winner, plain and simple. And he doesn’t care, he’ll be your friend and be awfully affable if that’s what it takes to get the job done.

Forcing Cleveland Browns rookies to hop a bus for a 10-hour bus ride to work for free at his football camp in Hartford, CT? They’d have HATED him for that if he didn’t take a plane there on his own, which he did. They still talk fondly of that day. Instituting a mandatory curfew for rookies and free agents at a team hotel near offseason workouts? No problem, Mangini will do it, and you’ll like him even more for it.

Photo Caption: Mangini being a douche? That’s a “shocker.”

What an awesome guy. And now, in a move that truly sets the standard for affability, an internal Browns source – who probably is a huge Mangini fan himself – tells Michael Silver of Yahoo! Sports that Mangini fined a player $1,701 for not paying for a $3 bottle of water in a hotel while on the road for a preseason game.

Seriously.

The $1,701 is the maximum allowed under the CBA and will surely make that player want to lay down in traffic for this guy who has. Won. Absolutely. Nothing.

Mangini, you are a douchebag. We mean it. The Browns made a huge mistake and you’ll never get another head coaching gig again.

Minnesota QB Brett Favre recently disclosed that he had a pretty bad arm injury towards the end of last year and admits that head coach Eric Mangini probably should have benched him. The only problem? This wasn’t disclosed properly on the injury report and the NFL don’t get down like that.

So the league has fined the NY Jets $75,000 and banged Mangini for $25,000 and GM Mike Tannenbaum for $25,000 as well.

The Jets and Mangini aren’t the first people to mess with the injury report, but it isn’t policed all that much. Big Ben was banged up last year before the Super Bowl, but wasn’t on the injury report because he was practicing all week….even though that has nothing to do with the rule of the injury report and why it is in place.

Photo Caption: “Life might be easier if I wasn’t such a douchebag.”

Still, it’s nice to see Mangini get punished for something.